Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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