i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
