no, he came in my armpit
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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