Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
