I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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