She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
