you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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