no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
