Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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