i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
