i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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