sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
