I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
