So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
third nipple confirmed
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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