we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
