i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
