Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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