Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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