i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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