it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Damn victory sex feels great
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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