The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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