I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
