i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
