we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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