Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
