we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
