Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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