oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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