The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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