i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
