When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
