Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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