you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
