hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
third nipple confirmed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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