His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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