Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
