My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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