so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
