I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
