So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
