Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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