My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
