We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i think my cat just said my name.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
