ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
