Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
