Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Randomize
