just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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