Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
