I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
