i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
