Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
