I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
