he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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