Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
