Dual....:-)
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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